wow

 For a long time I was so angry at God that i really couldn't see anyway around that anger... For those of you that don't know, seven years ago I had to privlage of meeting a sweet precious angel, Taryn, she's my neice and who olivia is named after. For reason's that I will never understand or fully grasp God called her home after only being with us for 10 weeks. So for about 5 1/2 years I was angry and bitter toward God and no one could convince me not to be, I guess it was my way of dealing. But then I got pregnant (something that was not planned) and we found out that olivia's due date was the Taryn's birthday and i knew God was up to something much bigger then me. My sweet little olivia  was born on the 18th but we came home from the hospital on the 21st (taryns birthday)  it was such a bittersweet day for my family, but i knew then that God was going to use olivia for healing and restoring mine and my family's faith. Boy has he blown my expectations out of the water.
Livi can walk into any place that my family is and you can see them light up from the inside out. This has been going on since that first day we brought her home. None of us will ever understand losing Taryn and we will always always miss her with every breath, but i know that her namesake lives on in a sweet little two year old sleeping in the room away.
  In saying all of that I love how when we least expect God to move, He is in the midst of doing everything.  There are certain things that I pray for on a daily basis and that list grows and decreses as the request come, but over the last few months the list has really just been all about how God is daily amazingly answering the cries of my heart and the friends and family that are all  around me. I love that when we think that God has done all He is going to do that he continues to push you outside that box of thinking and shows you another way that He is going to take care of you. How can you stay mad at a God that is going to continue to do such amazing things for you? I know that over the past year my heart has been healed in a lot of ways but I also know that God is not finished with me or with what He is going to use me for and for that i'm greatful.
KB